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bad news folks....   
11:45am 26/11/2004
mood: crushed
Officially, my computer is no more. On Wednesday, it refused to turn on and the computer-fixer-guy said that fixing the thing would cost a lot of money... so my mom decided "screw it all" and thought it wasn't worth paying all that money when the computer was old and slow in the first place.

So.... this means that I won't be on AIM anymore but I'll still be online... once or twice a week. There is an internet cafe right by the school and I am allowed to come here every Friday after school since I only have 5 classes on Fridays..

Anyway... I don't really know what to say at this moment... nothing interesting has happened...

(2 chickens running madlys | chase some chickens)

Chicken Man!   
11:01am 18/11/2004
mood: weird
I'm in a weird mood now. Its dark outside but its not too late and CNN is on tv. The voices of newspeople make me really tired...

My mind has really been wandering today. During school, I was in a completely different place and when I finally concentrated on my surroundings, I thought sitting in class was actually stranger than being in my own little world!

Doesn't that ever happen to anyone? When you think about something so much that its all you see and feel and then suddenly when reality strikes you, you feel as though you're actually dreaming? That happens to me a lot.... The world feels like a dream sometimes.... I'm psycho.

I found a lot of my old notebooks that I had stuffed all of my crude sketches and stories in. I've been looking at these stories for about an hour now. Most of them are unfinished but I remember the endings I had in mind for them all so the stories could be considered complete... at least to me. Most of the stories are about Sailor Moon and Pokemon and Digimon and DBZ, but some are original and about men wearing chicken costumes, flesh-eating plants, and bunnies.

I nearly forgot how obsessed I was with anime... but now that I remember that time and place, that unique feeling of excitement and joy comes back again. I loved anime damnit, just like a fat man loves pie. Whenever I thought of anime, I had this feeling in my stomach like I had just eaten the greatest meal in the universe. I suddenly wanted to get up and go shopping or go on the internet or write a story or talk on the phone. Sometimes I even felt like I was going to wee myself! I loved going to the Electronics Boutique to look at the new RPGs and anime magazines and I loved buying trading cards from that Hindu guy in the mall. And I was OBSESSED with going to the video store to stare at all the anime action figures and video tapes. I looked forward to all the nerd parties where we battled and traded pokemon and I loved spending all my time during school learning how to draw anime people properly...
I don't know.
I'm a little sad because I can never experience these things again but I'm glad that I have my weird memories and my notebooks.... even though its not really the same. Insistence on sameness isn't always a good thing and its hard to stop facing the past and turn around to the future... especially when the future is uncertain and confusing.

Rawr dinosaur.

The dentist says I have to keep my braces on for about another year. In January, he'll put on the braces for my bottom row of teeth and THEN it'll be exactly a year until my teeth will be perfectly straight. So in reality, I've got about a year and one and a half months left in Hungary. After this schoolyear, I'll be getting a job as a cashier or god knows what at some supermarket so I can save save save all my money obsessively like an old granny who picks up pennies off the street and puts them into a glass jar.

A pigeon was following me today. I think it wanted some chocolate.

(7 chickens running madlys | chase some chickens)

11:50pm 13/11/2004
mood: disappointed
So, I just discovered Ol' Dirty Bastard of the Wu-Tang Clan died on November 13 which really saddens me because... well because that guy was ONE 'OL damn Dirty Bastard. He was a psycho and annoyed millions of people... and I liked that. He fathered at least 13 children and once on an MTV talk show a caller asked him what he was doing to give back to the community; his response was "Nothing."

(1 chickens running madly | chase some chickens)

Treasure in the Trashcan   
07:02am 10/11/2004
mood: recumbent
Somebody was digging in our trashcan this morning. Garbage was all over the ground and my mom and I had to try and stuff the empty juice boxes and orange peels back into the bags.
Winter is coming... the time when crazy homeless people became RAVENOUS INSANE homeless people. Its a time to be extra careful it seems.

Rawr... thats all I have to say for today. Its just past 4:00pm and the sun is already behind the trees and buildings. I don't like that, the sun going down early makes me really tired.

Eh... have a good day everybody. Note me as usual. :)

(6 chickens running madlys | chase some chickens)

Supermarket Fun!   
08:42am 07/11/2004
mood: okay
So I went to InterSpar(supermarket) with my mom in the morning today and four huge barrels of apples were newly placed near the produce section with hundreds of clear plastic buckets by the barrels. Apples for Sale! - one bucket of apples for 600Ft. Needless to say, at the announcement of this, dozens of old ladies were seen swarming around the barrels digging for unbruised apples. My mom joined in the fray and actually got yelled at by one of the old ladies because "she was tossing the apples aside too strongly which would make them bruised" My mom then got really pissed off and told the old lady to shut up. It was a strange situation, but I had fun watching people fighting for apples from the sidelines.

I had duck liver for breakfast today which was cool. I like duck and goose liver, but only the way Hungarians prepare it. Its best with some salt and a slice of bread.
The rest of the duck is in the fridge and will be cooked tomorrow. The neighbors gave my mom the duck as a present for who knows what... but we thanked them and took it graciously since we saw how hard they worked tearing its feathers out and draining its blood and scooping out the inedible guts... Yep, the duck was theirs. They had about 5 of them in the backyard, big, fat, white ducks and they killed them all yesterday morning one after another with the swift blade of a knife right beneath their poor little skulls.
The neighbors even offered us the blood of the ducks which happens to be a delicacy here when prepared correctly. I saw my cousin Norbert eating the blood of ducks a year or two ago when we were over for lunch... he seemed to enjoy it quite a bit which grossed my mom out. I just think its weird that duck blood naturally becomes of a gelatinous quality once it touches air... kinda like the way apples become brown when they touch oxygen. Oddness....

I think thats about all I have to say for today.... If you are still reading, then note me or I'll fry your liver and eat it. :)

(6 chickens running madlys | chase some chickens)

An email I received   
11:05pm 05/11/2004
mood: calm
Funny email :) :

I was just thinking...

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought would lead to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone --"to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another one." This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry.

I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors... they didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.

Life just seemed ... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. Soon, I'll be able to vote.

(2 chickens running madlys | chase some chickens)

10:41pm 04/11/2004
mood: awake
It seems like my computer is working... I can't tell you for how long though... Some days its fine, some days its very slow, and some days it doesn't work at all. Stupid pile of crap!

Anyway, I'm currently on fall break and I have four more days left of relaxation before school begins again.
On Tuesday I went to Budapest by train with my mom and with Betti, my friend from school. It was a day well spent; we went to dozens of stores, ate in McDonalds, and waited for the return train in a nice little cafe. I bought some books and The Cure's Disintegration CD just because I couldn't find what I was REALLY looking for and I couldn't stand having money in my pocket without spending it. I am bad.. but I'd have to say the CD was well worth the money at least.

Every day now, I'm thinking about England. I'll be going in February for 3 weeks and I've already written a list of the things I want to buy(that can't be gotten in Hungary) Here's the list so far:

1. Books of various kinds
2. Tea(gift for my mom)
3. A nice pair of boots that actually fit
4. Rocky Horror DvD

So... as if it wasn't obvious already, I like chocolate, especially Canterbury Chocolate and England is the only place I've seen that has a LOT of it. But even though I have a maddening craving for it, I know I can't waste all my money on it since thats just plain dumb. Oh well... we shall see how things go...

(1 chickens running madly | chase some chickens)

11:16am 29/10/2004
  Just want to let you know... my computer is messed up again and I cant get online at home. Im in school right now, writing this during class.

Hopefully, I'll get back soonnnnn

(2 chickens running madlys | chase some chickens)

Finally! A Drawing!   
11:41am 22/10/2004
mood: artistic
I finally sat my ass down at around 1:00pm today and started to draw random wavy lines and at 8:30pm, this is the final result(of course I didn't draw for 7 and a half hours straight, I took a few breaks too):

Read more...Collapse )

(5 chickens running madlys | chase some chickens)

02:19am 17/10/2004
mood: amused
Haven't written in a few days, mainly because it was my birthday and I had to visit my aunts and some friends came over for a sleep-over party. It was fun, we watched some oddball movies and ate like starving piggys. I got a box of chocolate, two books(Great Expectations-Charles Dickens and Black House-Stephen King), a very nice watch, and some money for my birthday.
My friends just left for home not too long ago so I am now relaxing comfortably in my room.

To those that don't know, I've made an account at deviantart.com to display some of my art since Aldo asked me. As of this moment, there are only two things in my gallery, but I will of course add to that once I get my stuff together. Today seems like the perfect day to draw - quiet and cloudy and drizzling outside. The Discovery Channel is on tv and the serene sounds of the African grasslands make great background noise.

My account name is beppothechicken so if you're feeling bored, go to deviantart.com. But I would really suggest visiting the site in a week or two.

(3 chickens running madlys | chase some chickens)

entry 4   
01:34am 13/10/2004
mood: curious
So I just found out Christopher Reeve died today which came to me as a pretty big shock. Yes, of course one could think "Well, how long could a paralyzed guy live?" but Christopher seemed like one of those annoying people that would just live to bother you... much like Yoko Ono.

I didn't hate Mr. Reeve, but I didn't like him either. I suppose I just felt terribly sorry for him but at the same time amazed that he had such a strong will and decided to become a prominent activist. But then one would think "Would he have been an activist if he had never gotten paralyzed?"
My answer is hell no.

RIP. Chris Reeve.

(1 chickens running madly | chase some chickens)

Fat Old Crazy Men   
05:20am 11/10/2004
mood: amused
Whilst walking to the bus stop in the misty morning, the evilest of evil fat old men was walking on the road towards me. This fat guy was at least 65 years old and 350lbs and could barely move his feet forward. Its a miracle to see him still hobbling around the town, yelling at children, and wiping his forehead with the same greasy handkerchief I see every time we pass by each other.
Anyway, to make a long story short, this guy and me have a 'history'. He once yelled at me as loud as he could on the bus for no reason and on another occasion he followed me halfway to school yelling about niggers the whole time. It was odd to say the least... You can bet that whenever I see this maniac coming my way, I fucking turn my ass around and make a detour. And it seems that I'm not the only one that Fatso likes to yell at. He especially likes to shout at children and if they're in his range, he grabs them from behind with a giant salad tosser thats always safely tucked in below his maroon, stretched-out sweater and gulps them down without so much as a peep! Poor poor little children... what a way to go.

As the fat guy and I became closer and closer to passing each other, my mind started racing as to what I should do. Should I turn around? No - he would know that I turned around because I didn't want to go near him. Should I pass by and look down at the ground? No - he would have a chance to make a quick swipe for me and try to bite my arm off. Should I pass by him and watch him out of the corners of my eyes? No - he might notice and start chasing me.
When I could see the yellowish whites of his eyes, I quickly decided to say "Good Morning" in the nicest way possible, just to see if he would melt like the Wicked Witch of the West or something. Unfortunately, the reaction wasn't something too good, but it was funny nevertheless. The moment I said good morning, the fat guy lifted his head, bit his lower lip and squinted his pig eyes. He looked constipated but quickly recovered and said "Meny a picsàba" which roughly means "go to hell".
Awww... how nice of him. What a wise 65 year old man! Age certainly makes one more intelligent.

(1 chickens running madly | chase some chickens)

11:34am 10/10/2004
mood: calm
So I am here, not that it interests too many people. I don't have many friends and I wouldn't mind keeping it that way. My other diary at ITW seems to be dead and gone forever which is a little disheartening because I can't find many of the great people I used to chat with...

Aside from that, I've been enjoying myself at school... that is... on the days that I actually go. Since school started, I haven't really been concerned with it too much. I'm more concerned with moving back to the US than what the girl in room 11a is wearing on a particular day. Studying is difficult and extremely annoying at times because many subjects we are learning about I already know but I can't seem to translate them into Hungarian. Oh well.

Baby seals. Thats the first thought that came into my mind.

My birthday is this Friday so yay for me. I shall be 19 years old and a birthday resolution I plan on making is to stop complaining so much about incredibly stupid things! Wish me luck.

I think I'll be stopping for tonight. I haven't said anything especially meaningful here, except for the baby seals thing... Tomorrow I will do more with this journal. I'm going to sleep. Good night cheesemonkeys!

(1 chickens running madly | chase some chickens)

Testing testing...   
11:19am 10/10/2004
mood: contemplative
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I hope the colors work,
or this I must redo.

(1 chickens running madly | chase some chickens)